Couples can sometimes normalize mistreatment and toxic attitudes.
The Woman Post | Laura Valentina Cortés Sierra
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The Woman Post compiles five signs you shouldn't ignore that might mean you are in a toxic relationship.
1. Your partner doesn't trust you
Checking your phone, for example, is not a healthy practice. It shows insecurity and lack of self-confidence, as well as no trust in you. A person that constantly doubts you and wants to test your love, or if you are lying, is a person that probably can also create crazy stories in their head. Unfortunately, something that seems small, like asking your friends about your relationship with your exes or checking whose pictures you like on Instagram, can end up in obsessive and violent behaviors. This demonstrates a sense of ownership over your life and decisions.
2. Your partner makes you feel uncomfortable with your appearance
If your partner insists on you not cutting your hair because you wouldn't look good, or in not wearing that skirt because you look “fat” or “provocative,” you should take this as a red flag. How you dress, cut your hair, or show your body, are personal choices in line with your identity and shouldn’t be under discussion unless you ask for a respectful opinion. Telling you negative things about your appearance can deteriorate your self-esteem and no one that loves you should want to make you feel less amazing and beautiful.
3. Your partner demands all your time and alienates you from others
Telling you your friends are childish or your family meeting is not as important as your plans as a couple, are subtle attitudes that can make someone push away from its closest people for its partner. In a healthy relationship, you shouldn’t have to choose between your social circle and your couple, of course, some families can be a bit invasive on your romantic decisions. However, if your partner is breaking all your ties with the people that used to be most important for you and making them seem bad, that can show jealous and obsessive behavior that must ring a bell of danger.
4. Your partner compares you
If your partner says you are not as close to his friends as his ex or you are not as good at cooking as his mother that’s not a good sign. Being in a relationship should make us feel special, powerful and help us grow, not the contrary. A person that competes with you, makes you compete with others, or minimizes your triumphs can be a toxic person. Remember how great you are, how lucky is the world to have you, and how you deserve to go out with someone that sees that every day.
5. Your partner doesn't negotiate
Sharing time with someone that always believes he or she is right, makes all the decisions, and has zero flexibility, can end up in an unfair and unhealthy power relation. Remember your voice matters, your life plans matter, and finding balance and solutions that make you happy as well is very important. If your partner insists on how bad your ideas are or gets angry if not everything works as it was planned, you could be in a toxic relationship. A balance of respect, admiration for one another, and enough empathy and love to be flexible so both are more content is the key to a relationship that strengthens with adversity.