Losing someone in our lives is not easy by any means, and it’s probably one of the things in life that we’ll never understand. Why do we specifically have to lose someone that we love?
After the death of your partner, you must find out who you are again and redefine your identity depending on how you lost this person. Nevertheless, it is essential to remember that the most important thing in life is our present moment. If we enjoy our current moment, we are in the realness of love with that person.
Often, losing someone can be quick, which is a shock to our nervous system. Sometimes it can be prolonged because someone got sick, and you took care of them. After this experience, it’s normal to lose some identity within you because you’re giving a lot during this process. The most important thing to do is to take your time.
Loving after loss is not meant to be so easy. This is intended for someone to identify who they are again and take their time. It doesn’t matter how old or young you are; you can take as much time as you need.
When you start dating, there will be a storm of emotions. You’re going to feel guilt and displeasure, and you’re going to go back and forth thinking, “Am I doing something wrong?”
Apollonia Ponti, Dating & Relationship Coach, shares the story of one of her patients. One man was married for 23 years, and his wife was terminally ill from cancer. Before she passed away, she told him, “I want you to love someone else again.” He found a woman that loved him, but he went through many emotions, including guilt.
Ponti says that many widows feel like cheaters if they decide to start dating again. This is normal since it’s not like they formally divorced or chose to break up. This is a build of emotions that will come to you.
It’s essential to keep this in mind before dating again. The clearer you’ll have the difficulties you’ll face in this process, the more honorable you can show up in these moments because you will know the challenges you’ll need to overcome.
Here are some tips from Apollonia Ponti to find love again after loss:
-Get involved in your community: Go out and meet friends. Become part of a club and interact with people. Share your story; maybe you’ll find another person in the same situation. Having someone that understands how you feel can be very encouraging.
-Find yourself again: Do things that will make you feel good. You can revamp your style, go out and work out, and try new things. Be comfortable with you again.
-Don’t give up on love: There are people out there that don’t want to move on because they feel guilt and pain. There are also people out there who are okay with not moving on because they’re content. But if you are someone that feels in your heart that you want to find love again, then don’t give up on love. Understand that your partner wants you to love again and be happy