According to Marisa Peer, world-renowned speaker, Hypnotherapist, and bestselling author, self-coaching is simple once people understand the three beliefs hidden behind every problem.
As a self-coach, the best thing you can do is listen to your feelings and control them. There lies the base of everything. The reason is simple: When you push your feelings away, they regroup and come back stronger. Fortunately, when you change them, you change everything. Here are some practical tools on how to coach yourself.
1. Identify the Belief You Are Struggling With
When you look at the three things that could be wrong with you and fix those, you don’t need to fix anything else. According to Rapid Transformational Therapy trainer Marisa Peer, these are the three thoughts that you should avoid: “I’m not enough,” “It’s not available,” and “I’m different.” The core issue of all problems lies in one of these three takes. If you are going through a difficult time, ask yourself: Which of the three beliefs affects me? How and why is this belief showing up? Extending these three behaviors could stop you from achieving the goal you want.
2. Reframe the Belief Into One That Serves You
First, stop telling yourself that the thing you want is not available because everything is possible if you work hard enough. Second, stop telling yourself that you’re not enough and say, “I’m enough” because your mind doesn’t stop to think about what you say. So start saying positive things until your brain believes them. When you say “I’m different,” look for reasons to justify why you’re different. “You make your beliefs, and then your beliefs make you,” says Marisa Peer.
3. Understand Where the Belief Comes From
Go back to your childhood or younger years to identify a time in your life when any of the three beliefs showed up. Then, think about the circumstances, culture, and people that may have influenced your thinking. When we grow up, we learn what we see, how people act, how they think, and how they live. We grow up familiar with certain conditions and unfamiliar with those things we don’t know. As Peer states, “You can make anything you like familiar.”
4. Practice Affirmations
Our mind believes what we tell it, so the easiest and most effective tool to make an activity familiar is to say to ourselves, “I must make this familiar.” Do it multiple times until you become comfortable and confident doing it.
5. Shift Your Perspective When Things You Don’t Like Happen
This is another excellent tool for mastering your mind. When you’re running in the rain, you don’t go, “Ugh, it’s raining; I could be at home watching TV.” You say, “I love it. My body and my mind love it.” You don’t have to love it, but your mind will believe you do. Instead of focusing on the discomfort, say how much you love what you are doing. Lie to your mind, cheat fear and resistance, and steal back your behavior. With the help of self-coaching, you’ll be able to reactivate, re-manifest, and regenerate the confidence you were born with.