The fashion for polyamory and the apparent crisis of monogamy raise various questions about human bonds and their transformation over time
Zygmunt Bauman and Byung-Chul Han in their books: Liquid Love (2003) and The Tiredness Society (2012), elaborate importantly analyzes to understand this social phenomenon, beyond the subjectivity and personal preferences of each subject.
Although love is something magical and enigmatic whose operation could not be defined and classified logically and reasonably. The perceptions and experiences of love have been transformed in the tradition of Western thought. In its origins, monogamy arose as a form of control, oppression, and reproduction of the empire. Reasons why today, monogamy is questioned. In addition, it has endured mechanisms of subjugation and gender violence that have led to repression regarding female sexuality and freedom of choice. Being aware that said monogamy is sometimes supported based on religious statutes that falsely permeate commitment and care from a mask that covers infidelity.
Polyamory raises the possibility of being with more than one person at the same time and even "loving" more than one partner at a time. This leads us to wonder about the best option to bond effectively and lovingly with the other. Bauman (2003), argues that in modernity and because of the structural principles of the time, love has become a fear of establishing lasting relationships, due to the exacerbated individualism of our time.
Like modernity, love has also become liquid. Because in a consumerist, mercantile, tired, and hyperproductive culture like ours, committed and persevering ties are meaningless. Couples no longer struggle to build lasting and stable relationships but rather strive to bury their relationship through the varied possible repertoire of sexuality. Social networks have been key in the transformation of couple relationships. It is enough to make a match or put delete to continue choosing meetings by catalog.
Human beings have also become interchangeable, replaceable, and disposable merchandise. We find ourselves immersed in a culture of immediacy, speed, and promiscuity. As Bauman (2003) states, we seek instant gratification, results that do not require prolonged effort and money-back guarantees. Pledges of commitment lose prominence because, like other investments, they may initially perform but then decline.
Byung-Chul Han (2012) for his part, talks about how we have gone from infections in the body to heart attacks in the soul. Referring to the demands of productivity and the politicization of the world. A world that has saturated us with work, consumption, slavery, and exhaustiveness. Consumption is also transferred to our energetic and spiritual life. Spirituality is not related to any religion or to the belief in the existence of God. A spirituality that is found inside and not outside. And the energy that runs out in the meeting of disconnected souls. Well, as Bauman (2003) would say, now the physical is in fashion, but the metaphysical is not.
As in the consumer society, love is consumed in productive return. The intimate is the sexual and the deep is the climax of the orgasm. Orgasm after which the lovers are further apart than they were at the beginning. Polyamory is then concealed in masks of freedom and universal love that in practice reproduce the same structures of capitalism and neoliberalism. Freedom does not exist without the exercise of responsibility. And we can argue these ideas if we understand that homo economicus and homo consumers are subjects without social ties. They are the ideal members of the market economy. Finally, I would like to close with this sentence that for me is food for the spirit: No matter how much one has learned about love, his wisdom will only come, like Kafka's messiah, one day after his arrival.